If you find that the way you express your anger is not healthy, constructive or helpful, anger management counselling could benefit you. If you express your anger through aggressive behaviour, you may end up hurting people close to you, which can push them away from you, making you feel isolated and alone. Furthermore, hurting others is not what you really intend to achieve , so you end up feeling disappointed with yourself. Anger management counselling online can help.
Aggression is a sign of a loss of power, or control. The goal of your anger management counselling should be to restore your sense of power. That means that you are able to influence others and get them to respond to your needs. Instead of resistance and frustration you will experience collaboration from people. You will solve problems and communicate with others more effectively.
Anger, like other unpleasant emotions, is neither good nor bad, neither positive nor negative. But what you do with your anger will make it constructive or destructive for you. You can not choose the emotion but you can choose how you express it, and this is where anger management counselling online can help.
What does anger mean?
Anger is how your body signals to you that something is wrong. Let’s start with understanding the emotion and what it tells you.
Anger can tell you that you are feeling threatened.
- This can be a threat to your health, to the safety of yourself or your family. It could be a threat to your property, to your finance, to your status, to your career, and more.
- The most common threat is of a loss of connection during conflict. If you feel threatened when in conflict with your partner, you may often get angry, or even enraged. To help with this anger, you will need to acknowledge the fear that is provoked during conflict and take a closer look into it. You will then need to learn to work with your vulnerability in a different way.
Anger can indicate that you feel powerless.
- You may feel stuck without a solution to a problem. For example, when you try to discipline your child and you reach a point where nothing works for you. At this point, you are at the risk of using methods which you later regret. If powerlessness is the cause, you will need to find ways to equip yourself with effective strategies to address the issue you are coping with.
Anger can mean that you feel hurt.
- If someone treats you badly, anger is a valid reaction. You want to start with acknowledging the hurt which is underlying your anger. Your sense of fairness, respect, and justice will motivate you to act, in an attempt to restore justice.
These are only a few of the possible causes for anger. During counselling, you will unpack the emotion of anger and make sense of it. You will reflect on what it means to youg. Counselling helps you slow down and get closer to this feeling before you race to release this energy out of your body. Counselling will help you reflect before you react.
How anger management counselling can help you
Four strategies that work:
- Self-awareness will help you understand and forgive yourself.
- Recognising the triggers will help you reduce the risk or avoid certain situations.
- Identifying underlying vulnerabilities (e.g. hurt, shame) will help you communicate more clearly and assertively, what you need and want.
- As you communicate your thoughts and needs with more kindness, you keep people closer to you and above all you feel better about yourself.
In online counselling with your psychologist, you will discover that the tools and strategies for helping with anger management are as effective as face to face counselling. Book and meet online with one of our highly experienced psychologists.